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Reasons for weak sexual desire in women and men!

 

Reasons for weak sexual desire in women and men!

A renewed discussion has been raised about weak  sexual desire  and whether it is a medical problem that requires pharmacological solutions, or is it a psychological problem that needs more behavioral treatment?

With the FDA's approval of the second female Viagra pill, a renewed debate about low libido has arisen: Is low libido a medical problem that requires pharmacological solutions, or is it a psychological problem that needs more behavioral treatment?

Sexologists hold   strong and conflicting views on this matter.


Mind Body Green highlights   an interesting piece of new research that provides some clues about what hinders sexual desire and arousal for some people.

A new study published in the Scientific Journal of Sexual and Marital Therapy noted  a clear difference in sexual drives between women with sexual desire disorder and those without it. 

Female sexual desire disorder refers to women who have a low sexual desire, or who cannot be easily aroused to sex ; Which makes them feel uncomfortable. 

This differs from people who just don't feel like having sex for a while.

What motivates people to have sex?


Researchers conducted a survey of 97 husbands and wives with sexual desire disorder, and 108 husbands and wives without any sexual disorder. 

Individually, each person in each couple answered questions about their reasons for having sex. 

The researchers asked specific questions to determine the shared sexual strengths of these couples, and their positive and protective sexual goals.

The term "shared sexual potency" refers to the extent to which a person is willing to satisfy the sexual needs of their partner. 

Previous research has shown that people with greater combined sexual potency have greater sexual desire overall, and often have persistent sexual desire all the time. 

Even among women dealing with persistent conditions that make sex painful, studies have shown that having a greater shared sexual power helped those women become aroused more easily and feel more sexual satisfaction in their relationships.

The term “positive sexual goals” refers to when people specifically engage in sex to achieve positive outcomes, such as feeling more intimate with their partners or simply enjoying physical pleasure for themselves. 

On the other hand, “protective sexual goals” refer to when people have sex to avoid negative outcomes, such as having sex to avoid a partner being disappointed, or because you think they will leave you if you don't. 

As might be expected, studies show that people with positive sexual goals experience greater sexual satisfaction in their relationships, while those with protective sexual goals experience less satisfaction.

When the researchers behind the study looked at how women with and without sexual desire disorder described their reasons for having sex, an interesting pattern emerged: 


That is, women with sexual desire disorder had significantly lower combined sexual potency, fewer positive sexual goals, and more protective sexual goals, compared to women without any sexual desire problems.

In other words, women with arousal and sexual desire issues were less responsive to their husbands' sexual needs, and they also tended to want sex as a way to avoid bad consequences.

What do people with low libido do?


It's worth spending some intense time thinking about what drives you to have sex, and whether those drives are based on the pursuit of pleasure or avoidance of bad things. 

It may be helpful to see a sex therapist or coach to find out.

The researchers also suggested that people in relationships with low sexual desire try to be more understanding and accepting of their partner's sexual needs. 

How can you show your partner that you are not forcing him to have sex, thereby helping him to see sex as something of a curiosity, rather than something he is forcing himself to do in order to benefit from it.

Ultimately, sex should be something both partners do to feel good, not to finish a task or satisfy someone else's need.

Is low sexual desire a psychological problem?


These findings show that there is  definitely a psychological factor  at play.

The researchers explain that in previous studies, women with libido problems reported having sex just to get rid of it, or to avoid feeling guilty about not having sex. 

The researchers said, "The women talked about their desire to avoid negative feelings or experiences, as a reason to inhibit their sexual desire and excitement, while they considered that the desire to obtain positive experiences such as feeling wanted or loved by their husbands is a reason to enhance their sexual desire and excitement."

This is a logical explanation for sure. If you are so focused on not making your partner angry or just on your own sexual problems, it can be difficult to focus on all the positive things about sex, and if you don't associate sex with anything positive, then why would you want to have sex?

To the extent that they have low combined sexual potency (they are not highly motivated to satisfy their partners' sexual needs), researchers believe that women with sexual desire disorder may have difficulties recognizing and responding to their partners' sexual needs because they themselves have lower sexual needs. 

This may make them less aware of sexual cues, including romantic attachment to their partner, flirtation, erotic sexual images or romantic moments.

The ability to understand sexual cues is an important factor in sexual activity - especially for women - as research shows that feeling desired and being appreciated by your partner physically is a major reason for your feeling of sexual arousal.

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